The grass is greener where you water it
There seem to be a lot of people that are not thriving these days, and it can be hard to figure out what is causing it.
If you look around on social media you see people living their best lives, and a statistically questionable number of them are managers, CEOs, founders, etc.—you get the point. There seems to be the following conundrum—there are more possibilities than ever, and most people (according to Instagram and LinkedIn) are taking full advantage of the newfound possibilities of modern life. Yet so many people are dealing with stress, anxiety, depression, being overweight, type 2 diabetes, as well as other chronic diseases--and many seem to just be unhappy in general. So, what is going on? We know that this is not a topic we can cover in a single blog post, but we still think that there’s something interesting about this dichotomy.
So, what is “the” cause of this tendency? Is it:
· The paradox of choice?
· Social media warping your perception of a life well lived?
· The modern food?
· The dissolvement of work-life balance?
· All the above or something else entirely?
Well, here’s what we think… We are not doctors or psychologists, but we’re old enough to remember the world before we could work from home, be on social media 24/7, eat fast food every day without going bankrupt, and all the other cool stuff that’s great at face value, but tends to mess with our flow in the longer run. This line of reasoning can easily become an “everything was better in the old days” article, but that is not what we’re going for. We’re big advocates for innovation and progress, but we also think that a lot of modern suffering is an inability to adapt to new environments.
So, let’s unpack this a little bit.
Today the world tells you that you can become whatever or whomever you want—you just need to feel it and believe in yourself. The other version of this story is that you just need to work hard—the get up at 4 and run type—and you’ll be great as well. Don’t get us wrong—both stories come from a place of passion and kindness, but often don’t consider the nuances of individuals and their circumstances. So, if you can become anything and all your “friends” are already there (fit, successful, fancy vacations, good-looking kids) where does that leave you? Well, it leaves you feeling like someone that didn’t apply themselves, or as someone that was treated unfairly. We blame ourselves or we blame the world, and we feel crappy awhile seeking the stuff that comforts us—food, sugar, alcohol—while leading us into a downward spiral.
“But Coffee Talkers, what can we do then,” you might say.
Well, our motivated friend—here’s the Coffee Talkers list to get you going in the right direction:
1. Take a break from social media—you can take a month off and not miss a thing, and you’ll hopefully stop comparing yourself to everybody else.
2. Water your own grass. Don’t buy new books or look for greener grass. Try and make an effort with what you have: partner, job, kids, bookshelf, etc.
3. Consider yourself average at best and make an effort with what you have—this does not mean that you don’t matter or that you can’t improve—quite the opposite.
4. Get 7-8 hours of sleep, kill the snooze button, and make your bed right away.
5. Go outside and get sunlight first thing in the morning now that you don’t have social media.
6. Get your heart rate up for an hour a day—this can be strength training, running, or a sport.
7. Eat real food most of the time—if your ancestors couldn’t eat it 200 years ago, you’re probably better off not eating it as well.
Lastly, be kind to yourself and treat yourself as you would treat a good friend.
Until next time
Scott and Lennart