What you see is what you get
Our homepage started as a blog about fitness and health-related stuff. We’re still passionate about these topics because we see many people struggle with the ramifications of an unhealthy lifestyle. But the deeper we got into the weeds of what drives the general unhappiness of people, the more it became clear to us that health often is the symptom of underlying issues, and the fitness part can better be understood as a tool to sharpen the existing body.
Where we come from and what we’re aiming at are often more relevant notions to explore if you want to understand bad behavioral patterns. We have talked at length about topics like e.g., trauma in previous articles. Your physical and emotional “baggage” are important topics when assessing your behavioral patterns and daily routines. Many of us can keep up a facade if we’re motivated or if others are looking, but in our more vulnerable or stressful moments—we tend to fall back to our “unhealthier” habits This can push us off the virtuous path and start a downwards spiral that leads us away from where we want to be.
So, where you come from can make it difficult to accomplish your dreams, but there is another key factor to change: intention. We’re just as much a product of what we aim for as we’re a product of where we come from. We’re in many ways what we focus on and what we aim for. The human vision is a great analogy for how this works. You feel like you see a clear vision of everything, but you can only focus on a tiny part of the visual field at any moment. This tiny part is what you see, the rest is your brain constructing an illusion of a comprehensive and detailed representation of your surroundings.
What we focus on in our daily life works similarly. We think we’re getting an objective representation of reality, but what we’re experiencing is a construction that supports the narrative or values we focus on. So, the question is what do we focus on?
Well, this is where we get into a very individual territory. We’re all different, have different values, and have different ambitions, so, you must assess this part for yourself. It can be hard to see these things yourself, so ask someone who’s not you, to help you with this assessment of yourself.
We can’t tell you what to aim for, but we can give you a couple of examples of pitfalls from our own lives.
Avoid playing the victim. Life is tough and there’s a good chance that unfair things have happened to you. However, stepping out of this shadow, and getting a more nuanced and objective perspective can be empowering. Try flipping the perspective by asking, “What is this here to teach me?”
Don’t chase extrinsic values or the validation of others. Do things that matter to you and focus less on what you think society values. In fact, research shows that if you are pursuing a goal based on extrinsic values (money or some other kind of reward) the motivation to continue dies when the reward is achieved. When intrinsic motivation (inner, value-based) is employed, it is sustainable over the long haul—and rewards along the way don’t distract you.
Be less self-conscious and focus on others instead of yourself. This will make you more in tune with the people around you and less anxious. Being of service really is the gift that keeps on giving. It is a constant source of positive energy.
These three pointers form a kind of blueprint for progress in any area of life, and they have been quite helpful for us. We use them as a kind of diagnostic tool to examine anything in life that is giving us trouble. (Over a coffee, of course.)
We wish you the best of luck
Until next time
Scott and Lennart