The uniqueness of your existence
Life can be hard to figure out. What’s the point? What’s the meaning? Social media hasn’t helped with its divisive nature and focus on narcissistic goals like fame, beauty, success, and money.
Two weeks ago Scott wrote about the dangers of letting our ego run our life, and this week we’ll try to give an antidote or a different perspective on this matter.
Don’t get us wrong—the ego is not a metaphor—it’s a real thing. It’s that little voice in your head, which looks out for your short-term goals. You can hear it when the short-term goals can look beneficial. When you have the opportunity to cheat in a game, or in life.
Like a football player who takes a dive or raises his hand even though everyone, including himself, saw that he kicked the ball out—that’s ego-driven behaviour. Because the right thing to do is to speak the truth and play fair. This will cost you in the short term but will reward you in the long run. We often forget that people remember, and you don’t want your legacy to be the one who doesn’t play fairly. This will make people resentful and will limit your future option—because fewer people will want to “play” with you.
Remember when your mother told you, “it’s not if you win, but how you play the game.” Well, this is much deeper than what we gave our mothers credit for. If implemented correctly, this can be the foundation for a life philosophy. If you play the game of life fairly and in a way that is in harmony with your fellow humans, you’ll be invited to participate in other games, which will give you more opportunities to interact with other people. Play this out over a lifetime, and you start getting an accumulative effect.
Ego-driven behaviour hurts your social status and options in the long term, and it will probably hurt your mental condition as well.
The opposite approach to ego-driven behaviour is purpose-driven behaviour. In this approach, you don’t look for extrinsic validation, but instead, search for how you create value for your surroundings and generally focus on intrinsic motivations.
The result of intrinsic and extrinsic behaviour can look alike to the outside observer, but for the individual who is doing the work, it is very different. It’s the difference between basing your life on doing things that are meaningful for you, and of service to the world around you, and doing things that you believe will give you validation from your peers. If you learn to play the piano because you like playing the piano, then external validation will be an extra benefit, but if you only do it as a means to an end, then this can lead you to a dark place if the world doesn’t recognize your hard work.
This is where we get into the uniqueness of your existence. The German poet Christian Friedrich Hebbel once wrote that “life is not something, it is the opportunity for something.” Your life is played out on the backdrop of your finite existence. There is no inherent meaning to your existence, but your existence gives you an opportunity, through your actions, to make a positive difference on your surroundings and to therefore make your life more meaningful.
When we leave this world, the only thing we leave behind is the radiation of our actions.
So, our takeaway is to live (by your own measures) a meaningful life that focuses on intrinsic values and the people around you. Be diligent, speak your truth, and find and express your unique being.
Until next time
Scott and Lennart