Rewriting and Reclaiming Your Past
What if the worst experiences and memories from your past could be reimagined or even redefined as essential and positive building blocks to the incredible person you have become? What if all the things that have been held in darkness by you could instead be bathed in light? Such a process could hold the potential for much healing.
It’s widely acknowledged in psychology that what children need from their parents is unconditional love. Unfortunately, that’s not what many of us received. A big part of trauma based therapy is connecting with your inner child and reparenting yourself as an adult. You can do this by thinking of your Inner child accompanying you through life, and giving that child the unconditional love and support it needs—or you could show unconditional love to yourself and your inner child by redefining the experiences that you both went through.
Let’s say, for instance, you had a physically and emotionally abusive mother. The understandable temptation is to feel like a victim. You were just a child, after all, and the adult that was responsible for you really wronged you. But feeling like a victim gives the abuser the power. Not only at the time it happened, but it still gives that person power over you in the present. You can start rewriting the story by substituting the word survivor for victim. Now you have the power. Now you are strong. You are a survivor. This is the beginning of bathing the darkness in light. But it’s just the beginning.
What if you end up helping someone else someday, that has been through a similar thing. What if you join a support group of people that have been through similar things? Now you’re not only a survivor, you’re a survivor that helps and inspires others on their own healing journeys. Now, what if you write a song, or write a book? Now you have the potential of reaching thousands, or even millions. This horrible childhood experience has become the foundation for you to give love and support to those that desperately need it. You may even end up grateful for the experience, however, painful it was. After all, it made you the helpful, loving person you are today. You have rewritten your history.
Another way to do this, that might be a little more fun, is to rewrite your childhood as a dramatic movie trailer being spoken in a low, booming voice over dramatic music. So instead of the story of the child above, that was physically and emotionally abused by his mother, and ended up with a feeling of worthlessness and a myriad of problems later in life with intimate relationships, and difficulties with authority figures, it might go something like this:
A boy, forged by fire to become a man. Like iron fashioned into a mighty sword—wielded in the name of justice. And like the legendary swords of yore—possessed by a hero whose warrior instincts are balanced by a deep love and compassion for his fellow man. Learn and heed the lessons that were born of despair but flowered into joy and fulfillment. Ryan Gosling is Trauma-lot in The Legend of Trauma-lot.
This film has not been rated.
No matter what tool you use to work through your past traumas, reclaiming them in this way, as something positive, can break the bond that ties you to that old pain. So rewrite your history, and become the hero of your present, and the savior of your future.
Until next time
Scott and Lennart