Inclusion and Crab Mentality

This is a subject which we have discussed a bit lately. Crab mentality is a metaphor for what in philosophical terms is called Schadenfreude or feeling pleasure in seeing other people fail. When a group of crabs are trapped in a bucket, they will actively pull the crabs that are trying to escape back down again.

We often fall prey to this way of thinking when assessing other people. If somebody earns a lot of money, then they probably are neglecting their children—or if somebody is fit, then they’re probably self-absorbed narcissists. 

Of course, there can be some merit in this way of thinking, but most often it’s a way for us to feel better about ourselves. Maybe I’m not fit or don’t have a lot of money, but I have the moral high-ground—because “I’m there for my family” through my self-sacrificing and altruistic behavior. 

So, the question is, are things like body positivity or the “dadbod” a reflection of inclusiveness and compassion? Or are they a product of Schadenfreude? If everybody around us is just like us, then we don’t need to change—right? 

The best example of this is when English singer-songwriter Adele lost a substantial amount of weight and transformed her appearance. She now has a BMI that is inside the normal range and has greatly lowered her risk of diabetes, cancer, and cardiovascular disease. This hopefully means that we can enjoy her talent for many years to come—so, this is a good story, right? No, quite the contrary. Adele experienced a major backlash on social media after her weight loss. She was viewed as “one of us” and now that she has used her wealth and resources (personal trainers, chefs, etc.) to obtain a small “unobtainable” body—many fans felt betrayed.           

So, the question is—where do we go from here? Well, it’s complicated. We know that a lot of the underlying thoughts come from a place of compassion, but is this mentality helping you live your best life? 

Instead of feeling betrayed, let’s try to feel inspired. There’re a lot of people doing fantastic stuff which we’ll never be able to assimilate. But we can aspire to become more like them. If we use the crabs, which escaped the bucket, as inspiration then we can start cultivating a positive mindset with a sense of direction. A positive frame of mind and a sense of direction are powerful tools on your journey towards a better life. 

So, focus on the stuff that you can change and ignore the rest, and use people who are doing better than you as an inspiration and a sense of direction.

Until next time 

Scott and Lennart