Do more stuff that likes you, instead of only doing stuff you like!
This probably sounds a bit nonsensical, or something an inebriated simpleton might say on a Friday night, but we think that this sentence hits a note in the modern human condition that plagues our society.
We hear it all the time: find a job that makes you happy, a wellness vacation, a warm bath, an ice cream, drinks with friends, drinks without friends, Netflix, social media, etc.—the list is long. We modern humans like doing stuff that makes us feel good—and we coffee talkers are no different—but there’s a catch.
We like these things because they cause a dopamine response. Alcohol, sugar, and all the other stuff you like, provide the bliss of dopamine, but dopamine without effort is a dangerous path to walk down.
Dopamine should come after a stress stimulus and should be the body's way of thanking you after doing a task that gets you moving in the “right” direction. But we clever humans have found numerous ways to hack this system, and it’s leading us to dark places like type 2 diabetes, depression, and an abundance of other first-world problems.
And this is where we get to the pivotal point of this week’s topic. There are so many things that “like you” that you could be pursuing, but you need to get uncomfortable before your body will “thank you” properly.
Two domains of uncomfortability
We can divide the domain of uncomfortability into two main categories:
The stuff that’s uncomfortable for everybody.
The things you fear and are holding you back.
The first one is stuff like taking a cold shower, lifting weights, doing your taxes, going for a run, doing your homework, meditating… you can fill in the blanks. These are the things that nobody likes, but give you a robust dopamine response, because you’re doing things that get you moving in the right direction, and your body will thank you for it—both in the short and long term.
The second domain is the more individual stuff. Things that stress you out, and you avoid—like being alone, being with a lot of people, public speaking, water, etc. This can be because of prior trauma, inexperience, or something else entirely. But your physiology works in the same way. The stuff which you fear, and face voluntarily, has a powerful dopamine response as well.
So, think of who you could become in a year or two if you started doing things that “liked you” instead of the other way around. Stop hacking your dopamine system and start earning it instead—it’s much harder to go for a run than it is to eat ice cream while scrolling on your phone—but we promise you that it’s worth it.
Until next time
Scott and Lennart