Things to do when you just can’t take it anymore
We are in the middle of an unprecedented mental health crisis. There—you see? You’re not alone. That’s the first thing you can do—remind yourself that you’re not alone. Unfortunately, experts are forecasting that this is just the tip of the iceberg. Things will get worse for many of us before they start to get better. We’re only starting to see the beginnings of what economic and personal havoc the lockdowns due to Coronavirus have wreaked on the world. It is definitely the time to seek professional help for mental health issues. You don’t keep walking around on a broken ankle, thinking, “Fuck it! It will heal,” right? The world is in very real turmoil—but this is not an article to scare you—it’s one to offer hope. It’s our practical guide of 10 things you can do when you just can’t take it anymore.
Reach out to a friend. There is a saying in 12-step circles, “Pain shared with another is halved, and joy is doubled.” There has never been a more appropriate time for the trite saying, “We’re all in this together.” This time, we really are. It’s not the time to be proud, and keep things to yourself. When we reach out to others, we also help them—so pick up that 300-pound phone! Try to think of a friend that is even worse off than you are, and call them. Being of service to another is an instant perspective-changer.
Breathe. Ten deep breaths change your brain chemistry. Acute relief of unbearable feelings of stress is literally just ten breaths away—as Wim Hof says, “Get high on your own supply!” Why not? What a powerful tool to have with us, wherever we go.
Move a muscle, change a thought. This is one of our favorite sayings, and it is so true. Any kind of movement changes everything—from the biochemical reactions in the smallest cells of our bodies to the often unbearably big thoughts in our heads. Sit down on the couch. Stand up again. Sit down on the couch. Stand up again. After 25 of those, you will feel different, we guarantee it. Do three more sets throughout the day—100 squats a day, keep dark thoughts away.
Hop in a cold shower—it may be the quickest fix for “stinkin’ thinkin’” there is. Can’t do it? Are you sure? How about just a leg to start—for 15 seconds? Give it a try—it’s enough to clear out the head, and give you a great endorphin-powered buzz of wellbeing afterwards.
Have a spiritual book that you’re working through, and even invite a friend to join you in a mini-book club. We just started reading the Tao Te Ting to discuss over future coffee talks. If you just can’t bear to read, find an audiobook to listen to. It’s an easy way to give your brain some much needed brainwashing.
Give yourself some post-it notes around the house to keep you mentally on track. “Put some gratitude in your attitude,” “Take the next right action,” or, if you need some tough love—”Stop being pathetic,” or “Stop complaining, and do something.” We also love the 12-Step Serenity Prayer, also adopted by many Stoic philosophers: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Get outside! Breathe the fresh air, get some sun on your face, and go for a walk in nature, if possible. There is tons of research backing up the stress busting effects of just getting outside.
Start (or get back to) a journal. Write the dark thoughts on the page—get the anger out, get the sadness out—get it out and leave it on the page. Especially if you are tempted to lash out at another person—write it down first, and sleep on it. You can always say something that needs to be said after a pause to think it over.
Discover, or rediscover your creativity. Chances are you have had an experience being creative that was rewarding in the past. Get back to it—use it to work through and explore your feelings. It’s a great way to turn any negative into a positive and give yourself something to look forward to.
Give meditation a try. Again. Most of us have tried meditation at some point, and then stopped, or been inconsistent with it. Try doing a 30-day meditation challenge with a friend. We love the Waking Up with Sam Harris app or the Headspace app.
Try and remember that we are all struggling right now, in one way or another. Let’s just do the best we can, just for this day—and use the tools we have to head us in the right direction. Whatever we are feeling, one thing is for sure—it will change.
Until next time,
Scott and Lennart