Sailing Through Life
During a recent coffee talk, the idea of sailing as a metaphor for life came about. Did you catch that? Anyway “coming about” is a good place to start. It means to maneuver the bow (the front of the boat) across the wind so that the wind changes from one side of the boat to the other. It’s a change of direction—and it’s fraught with danger. Pull down your sailor’s cap tight—we’re headed for metaphor-filled waters!
Any change in life feels dangerous—whether it be a change of career, a lifestyle change, or a relationship status change. Just like in sailing—you have to be ready. “Are you ready to come about?” you ask your crew. Are you ready for this change of direction in life? In sailing this change of direction usually happens because it has to—either you are about to hit something, or you are headed way off course if you keep your current heading. Can you smell the metaphors in the sea air? Yes, often in life we only make changes when we absolutely have to—when the pain of staying in the same situation outweighs the pain of changing. So we ready ourselves, and our “crew” of supporters. Let’s do this!
When you “come about” in sailing the boom (the horizontal pole that the bottom of the sail is attached to) violently swings across the boat from one side to the other. On a small boat you have to duck so that it doesn’t knock you into the water (boom!). (Been there.) After the maneuver, it takes a second to assess what has happened: Is everyone still on board? How much does the sail have to be pulled in to catch the wind again? This isn’t even a fishing boat, and I’m catching metaphors left and right.
When we make a big change in life, it takes a minute to take in what we’ve done. What’s changed? How do we navigate these new waters? What do we need to do from here? How do we get some wind in our sails? One thing is for sure—this is no time to yell, “Abandon ship!” Change is disorienting, but it’s not a time to give up. Take a look around—stay sharp—what is the universe telling you? What direction is the wind blowing?
At this point in sailing, you want to negotiate pulling in the sail with steering the boat into the wind, so that you can cover as much distance as possible in your “tack” towards your desired destination. Ok—the metaphors are rippling out like a stone thrown into idle waters…
“Where do I go from here?” is usually a feeling we sit with after a big life change. It’s uncomfortable. It takes effort. But usually you have a destination in mind for yourself—a course has been plotted. The next step to getting there has to be negotiated and planned—and you can’t bite off more than you can chew. My sister Kathryn and I used to experience something we called a “Whoa Nelly!” moment when sailing—often after “coming about.” It’s when the wind catches your sail so abruptly and powerfully that the entire boat goes up on its side, and you have to lean way back over the other side of the boat in order to not capsize. Sometimes you pull through this dangerous moment—and sometimes you’ve taken on too much and have to let the sail out and renegotiate how aggressively you’re pursuing your destination. Like in life—it doesn’t mean you won’t reach your goal—it just may take a little longer to do it in a smart and safe way.
If the wind is right, and blowing strongly from behind you—the sail can go out and you can really make way to your destination—full speed ahead. These are great times, when everything is going your way in life. It’s fun. It’s fast. Take it in, and enjoy. But know that it won’t last. Winds change. They may start to blow you off course, or they may die out altogether.
One of my favorite images of my late Dad is of him reclining in our Sunfish (the small sailboat we had) and somehow making progress in the water when there was seemingly no wind blowing whatsoever. He was perfectly happy gliding very slowly through the water. I used to watch him from shore floating by like this and think that it was completely foolish. Why would he bother sailing on a day with no wind? I used to only go out sailing in ferocious, dangerous winds—now that’s fun! Hmmm. Maybe my Dad was onto something there. Maybe he was using the time when there was not speedy progress to a defined destination to quietly meditate and reflect on his life course. Maybe he was making plans for when the winds would blow again. (Because they always will.) Maybe his days of sailing through turbulent winds were over. Maybe a gentle sail, with a little, slow progress was just the thing that felt right. Maybe dangerous changes of direction are a young man’s game.
Whatever your destination, “May you have fair winds and following seas,” is the sailor’s fond adieu. So may we all.
Until next time
Scott and Lennart