Poorly Wrapped Gifts
The concept of a poorly wrapped gift is something that keeps circling back into both of our lives here at Coaching and Coffee Talks. The idea is that something may happen in your life that seems very far from a gift initially–but over time you realize that it has become a poorly wrapped gift. The experience has borne fruit. You’ve learned something–usually about yourself.
The wonderful thing about this way of thinking is it gives the “victim mentality” the swift death it deserves. Playing the victim is really the most unbecoming state we humans are tempted to slip into. It’s hard to be around others when they’re feeling like a victim, and it is really gross to have to live with yourself when you’re playing that part. It’s scary because when you first slip into it, it seems so inviting. “Come…come to the dark side of the force–come be a victim.” It seems like the only solace you’re looking for–total despair. But it’s not just despair–it’s completely paralyzing despair. Because, why should you even try? Life just does shit like this to you. Even if a specific person or institution has victimized you–you will quickly go global, then universal. If you dig down in there enough, you’ll probably find a God who has it in for you. What could be worse? You’ve gone from interpersonal to supernatural in the beat of a broken heart.
The poorly wrapped gift idea is your only hope in this dark hour. Only when we consciously step back and say to ourselves, “How could this be an opportunity–how could this situation be a poorly wrapped gift?” can we return to ourselves again–look ourselves squarely in the mirror, and meet the action hero we really are. Because it is, most certainly, a time for action. Drowning in thought is for the victims of the world. Poorly-wrapped-gift peeps get shit done.
This all cannot be rushed, though. When something significant rocks your world in a bad way, there will be repercussions like a stone thrown into a placid lake. The destruction just keeps echoing, and echoing, and echoing–and then a dead silence sets in. This doesn’t mean that you are slipping into being a victim. You are just headed into your dark night of the soul. It’s also a poorly wrapped gift. All of life’s wonderful breakthroughs are preceded by the dark night of the soul. It really is a time for celebration–some good shit is about to happen! The good shit may not be cash and prizes, though. It may just be a deepening understanding of yourself, and what kinds of things you are being drawn toward working on in yourself or your relationships with others. You may not have a new house or new car to show for your hard work–it may just show itself as a slight smile on your face or a twinkle in your eye that shows up a lot more often than it used to.
Life can be hard, there’s no doubt about that. We humans are infinitely fallible and we have a penchant for hurting each other. The key may just be in finding yourself again after each of life’s upheavals. Standing tall and bravely taking new kinds of actions while taking even deeper looks into your soul. Yeah, things can be horrifically shitty–but it gives you the opportunity to find out what you’re made of. Can you take some hits and still get up and be a loving person? Will you turn life’s tragedies into poorly wrapped gifts?
We hope you will.
Until next time
Scott and Lennart