Alien vs. Predator
The possibility of aliens visiting Earth has perhaps never held such a high position in our cultural zeitgeist. But even if aliens are real–and they are visiting Earth–that knowledge has a very real foe in the form of sarcastic Meme Culture that pervades SoMe and even has infected “serious” news outlets. Let’s call this “Predator.” So who will win the classic monster battle: Alien vs. Predator? Monsters, go to your neutral corners.
Alien takes to the center ring, and makes the first move…
Alien has been training for this fight since 1948–when the US Air Force started Project Sign, the first project to investigate UFOs, which later became the more widely known Project Blue Book. Captain Edward J. Ruppelt (who became the first director of Project Blue Book), stated that Project Sign's initial intelligence estimate (the so-called “Estimate of the Situation”) written in the late summer of 1948, concluded that flying saucers were real craft, were not made by either the Soviet Union or United States, and were likely extraterrestrial in origin.
Oooo! That’s got Predator on the ropes, but I can see Predator reaching into his bag of tricks and pulling out…
Whoah! The fact that the official findings of Project Blue Book, upon its conclusion in 1969, were a complete U-turn from Project Sign:
No UFO reported, investigated, and evaluated by the Air Force was ever an indication of threat to our national security;
There was no evidence submitted to or discovered by the Air Force that sightings categorized as "unidentified" represented technological developments or principles beyond the range of modern scientific knowledge; and
There was no evidence indicating that sightings categorized as "unidentified" were extraterrestrial vehicles.
That hurt the Alien cause, ladies and gentlemen–but Alien uses its amazing speed and agility to duck, spin, and throw Predator into a corner with some current facts…
The first round of Congressional hearings investigating the potential cover-up of knowledge of UFOs has just been completed. There were career Defense Department brass telling us UFOs were not only real, but they’ve been captured, and biological remains of aliens have been recovered and are currently on ice somewhere. In addition, there is the testimony of respected, career Air Force pilots that have encountered “Tic-Tac” UFOs in the air, and video footage of these have been declassified by the Pentagon and released to the public.
What an incredible move by Alien–the crowd is on their feet chanting “1-2-3, I BE-LIEVE!” It looks like Predator has been beaten–I’m not sure Predator can recover from this barrage…but wait–
Out of nowhere comes the “Big Mexican Alien Reveal of 2023” that looks like a couple of hastily completed sixth-grade plaster-of-paris projects that got a “C” from the art teacher. And ooooo–the dusty mugshots of these cute little guys look way too much like Steven Spielberg’s “E.T. the Extraterrestrial.” And–can you hear that? That’s the sound of a thousand plaster alien memes getting their wings…
And Alien is down on the mat. There will be a 10-count. Can Alien make it to its feet again? Alien is crawling towards Predator, taking some ineffectual wild swings at its opponent…
What about the fact that Spielberg based the height and look of not only his E.T., but all of the UFOs in the movie, on actual descriptions from actual documents from Project Blue Book?
It might be too late for that now, folks…
Chalky E.T., plastered on the front page of news outlets throughout the world–has elicited a non-stop stream of international guffaws.
Things are not looking good for Alien…but wait…folks, I can’t believe my eyes–Alien is rising to its feet…this is a comeback for the ages!
The House Oversight Committee, in charge of keeping an eye on government abuses of funds and power, has stated its concern that the infamous “Area 51” in the Nevada desert is secretly in possession of "intact and partially intact" alien spacecraft. Two former government intelligence analysts have come forward, alleging that details of the craft are being illegally withheld from Congress and the American people. Allegedly, the government is using the alien craft to reverse-engineer spacecraft that run on a form of energy that could put the oil companies out of business. There are also former workers at Defense Department contractor firms that allege that the “Tic-Tac” UFOs are craft that have been built by defense contractors to intentionally be seen–in order to let the American people become accustomed to the idea of a now-unavoidable alien-reveal.
What an incredible fight, ladies and gentlemen! Both opponents have been badly beaten and are barely on their feet–but time has run out–and the referee has called this incredible match a tie! We’ll have to all wait for the inevitable rematch of Alien vs. Predator!
The battle for our minds continues…
Until next time
Scott and Lennart